Thursday, August 11, 2011

When Did Bitching Become Our National Pastime?

So, needless to say, it has been a busy summer in Philadelphia sports. And while I am not a huge fan of baseball, which is supposedly America's Pastime, I much prefer baseball to the non-stop bitching that has been going on in Philadelphia. Hunter Pence is signed, and is, from what I hear, tearing it up. The bitching, however, is also tearing it up...he is being paid too much, not enough, they waited too long to make the deal happen, he is too old, too young, too short...seriously, other than his name is a little faggy, it would appear he is doing a pretty good job. And he looks pretty hot in those goofy baseball pants, to boot. Then we can move on to the Eagles, and dear Lord, what a bitch fest that has been. They won't commit to Desean Jackson...uhh, guys? He has a contract. So he wants a raise? Yeah, so do I, but I have to wait until my boss is ready to talk, too. They signed the dude whose name I can't say or I ain't gonna try. Yeah, he is also getting too much money. Or not enough money, he is too old, too young, too short...blah, blah blah. I am pretty sure that there were several hundred strokes when  the Eagles signed Vince Young. Oh, and don't even get me started on the bitch-o-rama that has been Flyers fans since the party boys left town, and Holmgren finally signed us a #1 goalie. I don't get all the bitching here...I am NOT the GM, I am not the owner, nor am I the coach of the Philadelphia Flyers. If I were the coach of the Flyers, there would be a whole new incentive plan in place, and I believe me, I am sure it would get results. How good am I at motivating men? My husband spent over $400.00 on Kenny Chesney tickets, and he spent a couple $100 at the show. And he HATES Kenny Chesney. Passionately. So, believe me when I say I can get men to do what I want them to do...but I digress. I am NOT the coach of the Flyers, I am a fan, so I just put my trust in Lavs and hope for the best.
But back on topic...why do we, as a nation, feel the need to bitch about EVERYTHING?
It's not just sports. We were in the grocery store, and I like to use the self check outs, so that my soap doesn't get put in with my lunch meat, and my raw ground beef doesn't get shoved in with the Cocoa Krispies. So anyway, the hubster and I are happily checking out, but we failed to notice the sign that said the self checks were now for folks with 25 items or less. Ooops, my bad. But since we were half way thru, we motored on, and dear lord, the bitching was rampant. Keep in mind, there were PLENTY of open registers, so no one was waiting. But this one lady bitched so long and so loud that I had finally had enough, and asked her what her issue was. I asked her if she was the register police, and if so, please issue me my fine and shut the fuck up. Which she did...shut up I mean.
Today at work, we scored some free food. A local place that we order breakfast from on a regular basis now has a lunch menu, so they brought in four huge trays of their new stuff. Free. I mean, completely, totally, free. And again, there was bitching. Well, mainly one bitch was bitching. Tuna? I hate tuna. Ewww, mayo on ham? Who does that? This cheesecake is too heavy. I am just going to have to go teach Wes and his wife how to cook. Seriously?? The food was FUCKING FREE!!!!! Shut your mouth and eat it, or don't, but either way, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! I have worked with this particular bitch for about four months now, and she bitches non stop. My ex-husband called me. My ex-husband won't return my calls. My son won't return my calls. My cats hate me, they piss on my clothes.(yeah, I busted my ass laughing at that one. I would piss on your clothes, too, you little troll) I'm fat. Your heels are too high (always directed at me, BTW). Her skirt is too short. It is too hot in here. It is too cold in here. Seriously? This bitch wonders why no one will talk to her? How about every, single word out of your mouth is bitching and moaning?
I don't know what is going on in this country, but when I appear to be a cock-eyed optimist, something is wrong...really, really wrong. I do believe we all need to take a big, frigging Midol and chill. Oh, and all the bitching in the world isn't going to bring Carter, Richards or Carcillo back, so please stop trying.

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